5 Phases of Autistic Burnout
Being a barista was a fun job, but the physical and sensory demands led to extreme burnout after years of hard work with little paid time-off.
Autistic burnout is the loss of self-motivation and control over our lives due to a combination of physical and emotional exhaustion, social pressures, and sensory overload. While anyone can suffer from burnout, neurodivergents are more at risk due to our sensory sensitivities, differing social needs and work preferences. While burnout is experienced differently by each individual autistic, the warning signs can be similar. The sooner we recognize when our minds and bodies may be on the verge of chronic stress and exhaustion, the better we are able to intervene and protect ourselves against long-term burnout. As I tend to notice behavioural patterns, here are the 5 phases of burnout I have noticed in myself, as well as my solutions that others may find helpful too.
Burnout Phase 1: Optimism
When I start something new- which is often- I tend to get a huge rush of excited energy (adrenaline). This is especially true when I begin a creative project, a hobby related to my special interest or a job that I want to succeed in. I cope with uncertainty by creating a clear picture in my mind about what I want the future to look like and how I should behave in order to achieve that specific outcome. High off of the excitement and clarity of my new vision, I spend time creating the perfect plan to accomplishing it all. My overly optimistic vision and unrealistic standards for success tend to overshadow my real sensory needs and abilities, thus I am often setting myself up for burnout before I have even begun.
What this sounds like:
"If I just stick to this plan, I'll be able to do it all."
“I am so excited to get started; this project will add so much to my life.”
“This time I can’t fail. I have found the right path this time!”
What this feels like:
-Increased energy, feeling “high” and invincible;
-Overly-positive and definitive thinking;
-Over-sharing ideas; feeling overly or anti-social;
-Hyper-focusing; obsessing over details;
-Trouble sleeping; restlessness;
-Loss of appetite; infrequent meals.
Burnout Phase 2: Intense Resolve
As I settle into, and continue on with my daily routine, the initial excitement and drive starts to ware off, only to be replaced with feelings of apprehension. I am more aware of my physical and sensory discomforts, yet my mind is determined to keep me on track. My self-talk becomes centered on convincing myself that I can still do everything I’ve planned, as if I am two people battling it out inside my one brain. I may readjust my long-term vision while trying to stay focused on the tasks in the present, much of which I hadn’t anticipated. Daily chores, like brushing my teeth and making dinner, as well as socializing in public becomes more challenging but I am resolved to face obligations head on. I find myself getting absorbed in unrelated distractions like social media and picking at my skin in avoidance of bigger responsibilities. At this point it’s important I start checking-in with myself and honestly listening to my body without judgement.
What this sounds like:
“No, really I'm fine! I can still do everything.”
"I'll just slightly adjust my plan and then I’ll be back on track."
“If I do more tomorrow night and on the weekend, I will be all caught up.”
What this feels like:
-Body fatigue; minor aches and pains;
-Difficulty staying focused; excessive stimming and fidgeting;
-Overthinking; negotiating with self;
-Feeling nervous around others, yet insecure when alone;
-Drowsiness during the day and difficulty sleeping at night;
-Changes in appetite; skipping meals and then excessive snacking;
-Guilt and shame when having to change plans.
Burnout Phase 3: Stressed-Out
General nerves progress into anxiety as I struggle to stay grounded in my routine and tackle mounting tasks. I am irritable to any slight changes in plan and environments; seemingly small disturbances, like an unexpected phone call or bright lighting, can worsen my deteriorating mood. My thoughts are rapid and increasingly negative; my breathing is quickening and shallow. In social situations I can feel my heart rate rising when addressed directly, or questioned about what I am doing. I am starting to resent the hobbies and people I usually appreciate, yet I am having trouble relaxing when alone in my own space. While my mind knows what it wants to be doing, my body feels too heavy to do it. Instead of dissecting my every move and trying to become stricter on myself, this would be the perfect time to ease up on my responsibilities and take time rest.
What this sounds like:
“If only I had done more today, I would be able to relax now."
"No one else is having trouble. I don’t want to be the only one failing.”
"I am only feeling exhausted because I didn’t plan better.”
What it feels like:
-Body pain, especially in shoulders and back; headaches;
-Overthinking and rumination; forgetfulness;
-Feeling anxious and flustered around others;
-Restrictive eating or increased appetite;
-Chronic fatigue, yet turbulent sleeping patterns;
-Withdrawing from social activities and making excuses not participate;
-Frequent non-verbal episodes; difficulty articulating thoughts;
-Strong emotions and/or feelings of emptiness.
Burnout Phase 4: Burnt-Out
The exhaustion and anxiety is now taking over both my body and mind. I feel paralyzed when faced with the majority of tasks and try and reschedule obligations, affecting my self-worth. I alternate between feeling overwhelmed and feeling nothing at all. I am starting to feel paranoid about what others may be thinking about me behind my back. I am afraid of losing what I have achieved and feel unworthy of the success I had hoped for for myself. I cling to any basic routine I can manage and avoid any unnecessary social engagements in order to protect my limited space and energy. Instead of comparing myself to the vision of myself I wish to have become by now, I would be a better idea to be taking time to breathe and reevaluate what is actually important to, and realistic for me.
What this sounds like:
“I just can't do this anymore, but I don’t know what else to do!"
"I should have done everything differently. Now I’m stuck."
"I am too much for everyone. I’m better off on my own."
What this feels like:
-Sharp body pains and migraines;
-Self-blame; intense anxiety and panic attacks;
-Neglect of personal needs, like hygiene and household chores;
-Intense fatigue; taking extended naps with difficulty waking up;
-Disconnection from reality; paranoid thinking; reclusive;
-More frequent meltdowns and shutdowns.
Burnout Phase 5: Chronic Burnout
The symptoms of burnout have gone untreated for so long that I am now living in a perpetual state of exhaustion; burnout has become my part of my “normal” functioning now. My mental and physical health is suffering and my morale is low, yet I have been existing in this way for so long that I am desensitized to the emotional and sensory pain I am constantly experiencing. My attitude has become more pessimistic and although I am managing to survive each day, I am no longer thinking about my future plans. I am retreating from any social interactions and unmotivated to follow through on any additional obligations, unsure of how to reconnect with myself and the world around me. While I want to engage with my special interests and close friends, I am resentful and lost as to where to begin. Without an intervention or complete change in routine, I am likely to continue existing in this state of burnout until my health is further compromised. I may need to seek out professional help to disrupt the burnout cycle.
What this sounds like:
“I just don’t feel like doing anything anymore. What’s wrong with me?”
"No one will understand what I'm going through. I’m hopeless!"
"Life should just go on without me! I’ve stopped caring.”
What this feels like:
-Chronic depression; at risk of panic and anxiety disorders;
-Feelings of complete emptiness and numbness;
-Not responding to personal needs; mind feels disconnected from body;
-Intentional self-isolation to combat chronic fatigue;
-Disordered eating and negative perceptions of self;
-Defensive; argumentative; judgmental of others;
-Severe meltdowns, shutdowns and panic attacks.
Preventing Autistic Burnout
The sooner I am able to recognize these phases of burnout, the easier it becomes for me delay the onset of burnout, reduce its severity, and disrupt the burnout cycle altogether. I recognize that my susceptibility for autistic burnout correlates to the euphoria I experience when starting new tasks we well as the level of expectations I have set for myself before I have even begun! Adjusting my high standards for success, asking for help with difficult tasks, and being kinder to myself on a daily basis are some of the ways I protect myself on a daily basis.
What this sounds like:
“I need to take a break right now and come back to this later.”
”This isn’t exactly what I had in mind but I recognize my plan was too strict.”
”The working conditions at my office are really aggravating my senses.”
Here's what else we can do to prevent burnout:
-Resist the habit of over-planning and setting rigid expectations for the future;
-Schedule extra breaks and time to rest; it’s better to cancel breaks than realize you don’t have time for them when needed;
-Engage with special interests often; this does not distract us from our goals, but boosts our confidence and recharges energy;
-Avoid situations you know to be stressful; prioritize your sensory needs and try not to be afraid to ask for adjustments;
-Confide in a trusted friend or online community to assist in achieving your goals and staying positive;
-Stay active without a regiment; take walks, dance around and get your heart rate going to relieve stress and clear your mind;
-Drink lots of water and stay hydrated throughout the day;
-Treat ourselves daily; encourage yourself to indulge in your favourite foods without guilt;
-Take vitamins, eat fruits and vegetables to balance our diets; nutrition is important in mental and physical wellbeing;
-Be honest with ourselves; forcing ourselves to mask and keep going when tired will only create more problems in the long term;
-Journal; allow yourself to be freely creative without any expectations;
-Consider medication and professional treatment if burnout is an ongoing issue in your life;
-When speaking to, and about, ourselves use "I sometimes…" and "I often…" instead of "I always…" and "I never…”
-Disconnect from social media as much as you can; the world isn’t going anywhere without you.
Remember, autistics can accomplish so much more when we are healthy and caring for ourselves.
